So, this is what I've come to: blogging. I've started a number of blogs within the last few years. I had another blogger account I used to save my writing, given that I didn't have Microsoft Office at the time. The only blog I was ever faithful to was my xanga (remember those?). I wrote religiously in that thing when I was 14/15, but nothing I ever had to say was in any way interesting or pertinent to anyone's life but my own.
Not many things have changed. The things that HAVE changed, however, are significant.
1) I'm older, which means that I'm not going to be whiny about petty things and drama, drama, drama. I did that a lot on xanga.
2) I'd like to be a playwright one day, and I keep coming across the same advice. "WRITE EVERY DAY." Now, a blog is... not quite the same as a play, but it will help me get in the habit of writing every day. Which is good.
3) I need an outlet. I need a place where I can say the things that are on my mind. I find that on certain social networking sites, I filter a lot of things because of my friend base. I'm friends with a lot of conservative Christian types (and their parents). Given that I am a progressive, liberal, feminist lesbian, there are those who might be shocked/offended by the things I say. I don't want to cause anyone harm, so it is up to YOU, dear Reader, to decide if you'd like to continue.
Moving on.
I'm a nanny. I work Mon-Thu, 6:30 am-4:00 pm. I drink a lot of coffee. I love my job, and the family is superb. It's just... well, a bit of a bipolar job. The highs are spectacular. There isn't anything quite like holding a toddler to your chest and hearing her say, "I love you, Miss Emily" as she falls asleep. These little joys brighten my life. The lows, on the other hand, are significant. I'm lucky to get through a week without one of the kids telling me I'm "no fun", "the worst babysitter ever", or " a big stink-head." What can I say, they're all under 10. Even though I love my job, this is not what I planned to be doing this year. I graduated from high school in January, 2009- a semester early. I performed decently in high school, but nowhere near what I know I'm capable of. (This is mainly due to several unfortunate and devastating experiences in high school that affected absolutely every aspect of my life.) After I graduated early, I focused all my time and energy on applying to ONE college: Smith College, one of the Seven Sisters schools. Now, I am of superior intelligence. This is just true. (Don't expect modesty, here. It's my blog.) However, it was silly to apply to one reach school and expect to get in. I wasn't accepted. I understand why completely, but it was pretty devastating at the time. I had no idea what to do, where to turn. So I ran away to California for the summer to be a camp counselor. I lived in the Sierra Nevada mountains for two months, taking care of children and teaching drama classes. In essence, I hid. When I came back home to Snoozeville, Illinois, I realized I needed a job. So, thus: the nanny thing. I am spending my days immersed in Dora the Explorer and dirty diapers. I feel like I've skipped my late teens/early twenties completely and went straight to being a 30-something mom with four kids and a mini-van. It's true. I drive a mini-van (complete with car seats!) I've read more Junie B. Jones than John Keats lately, and it saddens me.
So, here I am. I plan/hope to post every day (schedule permitting) in order to get used to carving out writing time every day. Who knows, I may completely abandon this thing by next week. It's very possible. But here's to hoping that, for once, I follow through on something I set out to do.
Optimistically yours,
Emily
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