The world makes me sad

'Should have' is an illusion. 'Should have' implies that there was ever going to be another universe where the decision you made is anything other than the one you made. 'Should have' implies that there is any more point in asking what to do. 'Should have' implies that 'what is' is less than what it has turned out to be. And then there's the business of how 'what is' came to be. Nothing is fundamentally everything and everyone is nothing? Everyone is something? Something is everything? All things are everything and everything is wonderful? How many somes and things and everys and ones are there? How many different combinations? We are all anything when we have something. We are all nothing and we mean everything to anyone. We are all something to someone. We are all everything to someone. We are all nothing to someone. No one is everything to everyone. Where does it stop? How many ideas, how many philosophies, how many trial-and-error processes does it take to stop asking questions? Even if I am everything to someone or nothing to anyone, it doesn't have any effect on 'what is'. Then there's the great 'what's next?' That one is my favorite. This world, this intricate world teeming with life and beauty and enjoyment and green trees and pomegranates and ribbons and music and seahorses falls short of the scope of our incredible human perception and we stare at the sky. Everyone I ask has an opinion on 'what's next?' but I am hard pressed to find someone who actually knows what they're doing with their life. THEIR LIFE. Lives are spent wasting away after paper representations of wealth and futility. Lives are spent chasing youth, beauty, adventure, excitement. Children these days are born with their eyes firmly shut and truth ferreted away with as little ceremony as a smack on the ass.

If I were ever to have children, I wouldn't teach them the value of the dollar or how to please a man in the sky with a giant book to record all the things we do wrong. I wouldn't teach them that people are inherently evil or stupid or imperfect. I would teach them that all is as it is, and that there is no higher comfort than that. With faulty expectations, this place can make cynics of us all.