When the world is too loud and my head can't make sense of it, I go into my bathroom and close the door. Swiftly, I undress and run a very hot bath- as hot as my skin can manage. Naked, I scour my body with acidic standards. When I've stared my face into an unrecognizable shape, I flick off the lights and sink into scalding oblivion. Slowly, toe by toe, I lower myself into the inhumane temperature and feel my muscles melt. Tendons turn jelly, bones heat up and nerves release comforting waves of tingling coercion. Thighs, hips, belly, breasts, shoulders, head, ears, eyes. Water closes over my body like a floating coffin. The thickness rests in my ears and silence in my eyes draws attention to my breath. I listen to my heartbeat and lay still.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

If I wait long enough, cracks of light seam the darkness of my solitude and I am stepping through the doorway of velvet imagination. My vision fractures into prisms and the whole of light is exposed for the colorful amalgam it is. The world is slow and hazy like a Sunday afternoon. My heartbeat ticks on my sleeve keeping metronomic watch. I am too big for myself and my soul squeezes through my fingers. Inner quiet houses me, keeps me in place and intact and away from extraneous bother. My brain is engorged and clatters around my skull, what a headache.