I feel like Lisa Simpson

Remember that one Simpsons episode when Lisa converted from Christianity to Buddhism? There was this one part, just after the enlightenment bulb clicks over her head, that she rushes out onto the street and yells, "I AM A BUDDHIST!"

I feel sort of like that, except replace Buddhism with Deism.

I've been on a bit of a spiritual hunt lately. I recently took a good, hard look at what I believe and realized that I really have no place for Christianity in my life. Ever since, I've been at a bit of a loss, sort of empty. Religion was a huge influence in my life, and chucking Christianity in the bin was a tough decision. Rationally, I could no longer pretend to belong to a doctrine that called me evil and morally impure just for kissing other girls. I could not support the idea of Biblical infallibility. I don't support any institution that judges others or claims to have all the answers. The wider and more rational my view became, the more Christianity seemed to fall short. This left me with a "what now?" sort of feeling. So, if I don't believe in Christianity, what do I think about religion? Do I even believe in God? I came up with this:

• I do believe in God, who I think is the genderless creator of the world. I believe in God because I look around me at the wonder and beauty of the world and can't reasonably conclude anything else. Life, the complexity of nature, the aesthetic beauty of the world- to me, all of this suggests an creator.
• Most religions have twisted up the idea of God and added a lot of man-made rules. This irks me. I don't like the manhandled bits about religion- religious texts edited by humans, creeds and doctrines thought up by councils, etc.
• I am wholly frustrated by the terrible, evil deeds committed in the name of God and the institutions that sanctioned those actions.
• A moral code is important in life. I believe that the intended moral code of God is well represented in the 10 commandments, variations of which are included in most religious theology.

This is, in a nutshell, all I believe needs to be covered by religion or spirituality. I firmly believe that spirituality and religion don't need rigid rules; flexibility and interpretation is important. Things like abortion, gay rights, etc. are social issues and fall under the umbrella of my political views. At first, I decided not to bother finding a label or definition for my thoughts. I've been living that way for the last couple months, but throughout, I've felt aimless. Maybe I'm just one of those people who enjoys the community of things, but I dislike the idea of being on a spiritual island. I wanted to find something that I could resonate, ideology I agreed with. So, I went on a balls-out internet search for faith. The major religions (Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, Islam) were out, I already knew I didn't agree with that theology. I went further, looking at Ba'hai faith and Taoism and Neopaganism and Unitarian Universalism, but nothing fit. I then stumbled here: http://www.deism.com/index.html. Take a peek, it's pretty interesting stuff. I found myself reading the definitions and stories and thinking, "Wow. This is the missing piece I've been looking for."

The beautiful thing about Deism is that it's not exclusive at all. The only key belief is this: "the recognition of a universal creative force greater than that demonstrated by mankind, supported by personal observation of laws and designs in nature and the universe, perpetuated and validated by the innate ability of human reason coupled with the rejections of claims made by individuals and organized religions of having received special divine revelation." This is pretty close to what I outlined for myself months ago. Reason, logic, belief in God. No restrictions and rules, just encouragement in self-reliance, rationality, reason, and questioning authority. It all fits.

So, there we have it. I am a Deist. It's liberating, in a higher-understanding sort of way. Granted, I don't think this discovery will change my life much (I've been living the Deist sort of world view for a while now, without even knowing it), but it's nice to know that there are others who feel similarly.