Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Mid-ish February Update: Getting by

Tonight, I felt the lowest I've felt in a long while.

I haven't feel like doing anything other than sleep for weeks now, but tonight I made myself get out of bed and eat dinner and do a load of laundry. My thoughts have been spiraling into bad, destructive places all night. Luckily, I didn't go through 6 years of therapy without learning how to deal with situations like this. I kept reminding myself to be mindful of my feelings and process my thoughts so I could address my negative thought patterns. I used positive coping skill techniques in order to redirect my negative energy into positive distraction (/psychobabble.) In other words, I sat at my piano and sung until I had no voice left. It felt nice. My mother even joined me for a bit. To be honest, I feel pretty proud of myself. There was a time when I wouldn't have made any effort, I would have indulged in selfish destruction without a second thought just because I wanted to. To be able to 1) recognize how poorly I feel 2) seek out company and 3) do something positive for myself makes me realize just how far I've come since being that girl sitting in the psych ward feeling sorry for herself.

T- one week until 2nd anniversary of my dad's death. If you could manage, keep my family in your thoughts this month.

1 comment:

  1. Oh, dearest, this is so good to hear! A good feeling to have markedly come a long way ... yet for me, it feels as though I have a ways to go. But won't we always? Doesn't everyone? What a journey. I'm very proud of you. :)

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